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If it is just one person sending unsolicited sexual messages or pictures to another person without their okay, then it is just straight up sexual harassment. Even if you're sending sexy messages to your married partner of several decades, we recommend having a discussion about expectations and safety when it comes to sexting.
Just like in real life, you have to make sure the other person is into it before you start getting freaky with them." So, before you doff your duds and whip out your selfie stick, have a serious conversation with the person with whom you wish to sext. Just as you might discuss STD testing and other issues related to health and safety with your sexual partners, you should also talk frankly about sexting before you do it.
It's way better to voice those concerns now than after the fact.
If your potential sexting partner voices concerns, be sure you honor the limits they put forward, too.
But keep in mind, we wrote this feature with the assumption that our readers were consenting adults. When we first tackled this subject back in 2015, PCMag analyst Jill Duffy asked Erika Moen, the cartoonist behind the sex-positive webcomic Oh Joy, Sex Toy (which you can support via Moen's Patreon page), about her definition of sexting, and she added one important point.
"It's two adults consensually engaging in sexually arousing behavior," she told us via email.
The answer to why people sext is pretty straightforward: sex is fun and exciting, and sexting is easy to do and exhilarating in its own right.
For some, such as couples in long-distance relationships, sexting can keep communication and sexual desire strong. After all, most of us text and chat all the time, and it's natural to extend that into our love lives, as well.
We don't condemn it, but we do see it as higher risk.What efforts are you both going to make to protect the privacy of the other person?Set some ground rules and don't be afraid to turn down options that make you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.Consider, also, that sexting can't spread disease or lead (at least directly) to accidental pregnancy.There are times when the rewards of sexting outweigh the risks—it's up to you to decide.
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Remember, too, that they could be intercepted on your end or your sexting partner's end. Anyone can take a screenshot of their phone or computer, or even use another device to take a picture of a screen.